Now What? This Season Was All About Bad Burgers Without Cheese

I just got off the phone with my dad after wishing him a happy birthday, and of course we ended the conversation with a discussion about the Vikings season.

It's his fault that I am addict of the purple. I grew up watching him call the defense "hamburgers" after missing tackles, and jumping for joy when "Chuck Foreman" broke the Rams back in the 1976 NFC Title game. There are so many other stories of Vikings greatness that I shared with him, but I will write about them all later.

Tonight our conversation was about the 2008 season. Tonight it was about a very flat "hamburger" who runs the team on the field named Brad Childress.

Coach Childress has a team so loaded that it could be the "Super Whopper", or the "Biggest Big Mac" in the history of fast food, but instead Vikings fans are served a "kids meal." The coach of this team is so flatline with a stubborn coaching style that will keep the Vikings from putting any condiments or cheese on the purple offense burger. This is fine if you are fan of close games that always come down to the last 2 minutes, but it is BRUTAL if you are a Coach who cannot work those 2 minutes as part of your plan.

Let me explain. Childress plays close to the vest, and is relentless at forcing the team to adopt to this style. The formula might work with a talentless team, but the Vikings have so much high priced "varsity" NFL stars that it should have something more it's game plan at critical times. At the very least, the Vikings should be winning 12 games a year with the players they have on the roster.

My dad an I agree that Childress is still learning, and probably knows that the team is only a good quarterback away from making a long playoff run like they used to do back in the day. We are willing to put up with him for another year to see if this can happen.

In short the team is close, but we both see that our Coach has to know 100% what to do when his team needs the leadership at crunch time. If he cannot improve this, he is worthless, and the team will turn on him. Just look at the last 55 seconds of the Giant game, and anyone who has ever played Madden on Playstation knows what to do. It was simple.

There was absolutely no excuse for him not trying to advance the ball when they got into field goal range after Visanthe Shiancoe converted a first down to the 32 yard line. A first run down attempt by AP loses 2 yards. It's now 2nd down and 12 from the 34, with 27 seconds left, and 1 time out. A 51 yard field goal attempt looms at this point and the clock is ticking. Sure, Longwell kicks the ball long, and this is makeable, but… um… well... there should have been time enough for 2 more plays, right? But here's what ensued:

The Vikings were unprepared, the Vikings panicked. They argued on the sidelines and looked dis-shelved. The clock ran down to 9 seconds, and Tarvaris called a time out. The fans booed. The fans pulled out their Helga horns and cried "UFF DA!"

The Vikings wasted 18 valuable seconds, called a time out on 2nd down, and came back in to try that long 51 yard Field Goal. The Giants called a time out to freeze Longwell. The Vikings regrouped, and uh, thought, uh, "Well, let's try a safe sideline pass?"
In came T-Jack.

They attempted that safe sideline pass, Bobby Wade was open, but T-Jack overthrew him intentionally to be safe? Of course it was incomplete. SURPRISE!!! The play wasted 4 more seconds. Now 5 seconds left? Talk about a clusterF**K. It was now 3rd and 12. Then a mad scramble to get Longwell in to get that 51 yarder kicked with the 30 second play clock ticking. The Giants call time out again. (Thank You Giants?). The kick was good... Oh my... ESPN analysts are still laughing, calling the Vikings goofy on National TV... WHY?

Here's what they should have been prepared for:

It's time to get on the line and run a play for this situation. This is where you try that safe little sideline pass. Worse case incomplete, and 19-20 seconds left. Clock stopped. 3rd and 12. Still time for run up the gut and chance to improve on a 51 yard FG distance to 47-48 yards. You call time out with 4 seconds left and try that field goal.

Best case you advance the ball down the sidelines, 5-6 yards by a pass. The clock stops on the out of bounds. It's now 3rd and 6 or 7 with 17-18 seconds left and you still have a time out left. You have time for a signal from the sideline, you get the play; presumably a run , QB keeper, or off tackle. You gain get 2-3 yards It's now 4th down, and field goal of 45-46 yards is a much better option. You let the clock run down to 4 seconds left and you call that last time out.

I don’t care that they won, it should not have been that close. Childress has proven time and time again that he is unable to be an effective NFL head coach even with a team stacked with talent.

What a hamburger? Maybe. But can he can still improve? Yes. I know how he can. All he has to do is buy a Madden game, load it up and practice the 2 minute drill all off-season. I mean, dude, he has to master that 2 minute pressure drill, and manage the game plan that he so brilliantly instigated for his kick ass offense. If he can't master that, he has to pray that the front office gets him a veteran quarterback who can take this "fatal flaw" away from his coaching acumen.

Maybe his buddy Brett will read this and start speed dialing Winter Park again? Now that might be the Cheese this offense is missing? It should be an interesting off season.

It's Playoff Time- Truly exclusive

The only thing that will upset me about the Vikings not selling out their playoff game is the fact that I can't tape it and watch it later when I get home from the game.

The real Vikings fans who bought tickets to back their team should be commended. The rest of you, I emphasise with. I know the economy sucks, and it's cold, and you don't really share the faith that the Vikings can pull out a home playoff win with the coaching and leadership you have witnessed. I get it. Times are tough, and it's more important to provide your family with a good Christmas gift- especially the little Vikings in the house.

If the game is blacked out, it will mean that those at home will have to suffer through a KFAN broadcast with Paul Allen. Personally, I can't listen to him for an entire game which is why I have to go to the dome and tailgate before watching it live inside.

By all accounts we will be joined by several thousand Philly fans, who will be making the roadtrip and dropping cash all over the Twin Cities. I believe it will be the Iggles fans who will be wasting their family's money on this road trip. That's right, I can put up with all their loud mouth soup antics for a few hours, just to watch them shut up as they walk out with their tail between their legs on Sunday.

This is playoffs people, and for those of us who are going to the game with purple on, it is the most wonderful, exclusive opportunity we will have to watch the Vikes do something great.

On the other hand, I truly do hope the game sells out today. Afterall, I would hate to see all the new HDTV's that Viking Couch potatoes got for Christmas go to waste.