The Straw that Makes Me Snap

Philadelphia beats the Vikings 23-16, and I couldn't yawn enough to pass the time. Football in this state has hit ROCK BOTTOM, and the only thing we fans have left is the hope of a good tailgate party. Tailgating is the saving grace of a bad team, but as if another boring ass Vikings loss, in a boring ass performance by a boring ass "kick ass" offense wasn't enough, well, here comes news that our tailgating lots has fallen victim to the "No Fun League."

Our tailgating day started out with the normal cast of characters. It was a cold day in October, so many of us were wondering what the rules were in the new lot for contained fires in those metal, portable fires. This is the time of year when it tends to get get Chilli outside, and there is no better smell than those nice campfires in the tailgate lot.

Our buddies Karki and Rowebote are genius tailagters who set up camp about 20 car spots from us. One of their acts of brilliance has been to provide killer music at volumes loud enough for us all to enjoy. Like everyone else who tailgates for entertainment, they also like to burn a fire to keep warm.

This Sunday we all learned that the fine print in our agreements to a season ticket tailgate pass, are many rules, ordinances and that ban vehicle height, length, fires, and loud music. Yup, tailgating in these lots are pretty much regulated to death. This is the final straw for me. I can handle moving from lot to lot, year to year, but taking away things that are the essence of tailgating should be unconstitutional. I am going to post Karki's comments from another board, because 100% agree with him. He wrote this on the NORTHSTARWRITERSFORUM.COM Vikings web board on October 29th:

Loud music and fires banned in tailgating lots

As unbelievable as that headline is, it's the truth. Thanks to the dwellers of the condos that now exist on the old Washington Avenue site complaining and getting Minneapolis to pass a city ordinance, tailgating music cannot exceed 90 decibels and no fires for heat are allowed, even within a completely enclosed fire pit (which we had). Only small charcoal or gas grills for cooking will be allowed.

We actually had a discussion with the poor guy who had to enforce it (and who was no more happy about it than we were, but had to do his duty lest his employer, the company the Vikes contracted to manage the lots, get fined for non-compliance), and there isn't much we can do about it. If we defied the bans, we'd get our tailgate passes yanked, and if it were to continue, the managing company would probably get fined and ultimately permission to use the lots which Zygi obtained would probably be revoked. (It was a series of one-year agreements, so they could end it after any season.)

So be advised, any of you coming for any remaining Vikings home games, that thanks to the complaints of those stupid busybodies, you'll have to shiver in the December cold and keep the music turned down while you tailgate. (Because it's apparently unreasonable to move next to a stadium and then have people tailgating next door as a result. In a related story, they'll move next to the airport and then bitch about the plane noise - oh wait, they've been doing that for years around here, too. Morons.)

I know Zygi thinks a downtown Dome replacement is the only thing the state will fund and that's why he abandoned the Anoka County plan, but having to put up with the Minneapolis powers-that-be perpetually treating the Vikings and their fans the way a baby treats a diaper is intolerable.

They have used that Dome lease as an excuse to beat up on us every way they can, pretty much simply because they know there is nothing the Vikes can do about it. (Think Kevin Bacon in Animal House: "Thank you sir, may I have another?!! Thank you sir, may I have another?!!")

And judging by this, that clearly isn't going to change, even with a new building. Zygi had better be prepared to have these kind of folks as a thorn in his - and his fans' - side for a long time to come.